All the layers

I want to be happy

And also sad

I want to sit and silence

And I want to find some balance

I want to be upset and angry

But I don’t want those emotions to dictate how I treat you or me

I want to sob until I fall asleep and wake up wrapped up in arms

Eyes puffy but still desiring you and all the things we do

I don’t dream of a perfect life

That was the young me

I dream and pray for a life of authenticity

A life where you feel safe to tell me your truth, and I feel honoured that you shared it all with me

In a life of trauma, not just ours, a life filled with encounters with people that are fighting just to be

I want us to be a place of realness and solace

I want to share and create love

Love in all its layers

That means slivers of the good, the bad and the not so pretty

A little #tbt

Old poems, still ring true

The voice in my head as always been good to me.

Easy to hurt

I have recently noticed that I am easy to bruise, easy to hurt, and prone to heartbreak

Wearing my heart on my sleeve is not a saying; it’s my lifestyle

Emotionally available, empathetic, and, some would say, a bit naive

I may have been embarrassed by this when I was younger, but now I welcome and embrace it

There is beauty in being vulnerable

There is courage in loving without restraint

I am not immune to the frustration that I endure when I feel betrayed or abandoned but I trust that I am going to be okay

I do not shy away from the wisdom that comes from life’s most challenging experiences. I study it and revisit it when needed.

Every time I heal, I learn something new about myself, and if I’m lucky enough, I learn something about the world.

Feelings wise, people rarely hurt you intentionally or from a place of complete awareness.

How we treat ourselves during our suffering is the key to being able to welcome love, in any of its forms, once again.

Marie

genuine moments are a blessing to the world.

Poetry

I planned to run away with you

Find a place where I could peacefully raise you

Was afraid I wasn’t strong enough to do this

But the sky chose me

And I think you did too

This journey was not what I imagined

And it’s still unfolding

But we are who we were meant to be

God’s child and his mommy

Car chronicles

I am currently sitting in my car, parked in my driveway. We are on the last day of this eventful year. I do not have deep thoughts to share, but I feel it is still important to share.

This year brought us a lot of turmoil, a lot of changes, a lot of pain, and for some of us, it brought us a reminder of how resourceful and resilient we are.

I, like many of you, am pretty tired of the news and panic across the world. Like many of us, I decided to take responsibility for my life and health and will continue to do so for the years coming. I realized one thing, I am in love with writing and connecting with people. I am interested in just that for 2021, connecting deeply and authentically with people that matter, and I am committed to writing as much as I can. Writing poetry, writing on here, and of course, writing in my book. 

I don’t know what 2020 brought to you, but I hope you found something or someone that made you feel safer, valuable and seen. I also hope that you found ways to make yourself feel safer, loved and seen.

2021, is knocking on the door. I will make this quick and close on an appreciation note. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and my poems. As I said before, I write from myself, inspired by experiences and thoughts on everyday life. But you always read from you, from your perspective, your view, your heart. That means, in some beautiful way, we connect via words without being in eachother’s physical presence. That’s lovely and somewhat magical.

With love, I wish you a beautiful year filled with everything you want but most importantly, with everything and everyone you need. 

Lamisspoetry xxx

Blowing candles in 2020

I have not posted on here in a while. Forgive my rusty words. But today, I am following my own orders, by writing just to write.

I celebrated my birthday last week. So let’s chat about that. My birthday is one of my favourite days of the year.

I had a lovely relaxed birthday, quite similar to my previous adult birthdays. I did not party, obviously, everything was closed. Also, it is not my favourite thing to do on MY special day.

I spent my day watching movies, had pancakes for breakfast and steak for dinner. I was also snuggled up to my special someone, and we talked about everything and nothing for hours.

I also received tones of responses to my birthday posts. Every year I remind people on my social media that it’s my birthday and respectfully ask them to flood me with love. Every year, my people come through. My timeline and inbox were filled with kind words and love.

My son stayed up the night before to make sure he was the first to say happy birthday. I love him.
My brothers roasted me in our family group chat. They are assholes, but I love them.
My mommy made me coffee and gave me my birthday kisses. She’s perfect. I love her.
My father will be bringing home a cake this weekend. I love my daddy.
My sister brought me gifts, and my niece sang me happy birthday via facetime.

Birthdays are a great time to reflect and recalibrate. So, what can I reflect on? What have I accomplished?

Frankly, I had to sit with the question for a few moments to come up with something. This year, all I did was my best. I slept a lot. I woke up for work. I went to therapy to check-in a few times.

I consumed a lot of online content this year. I supported a lot of artists this year, bought tickets to online shows and bought books. I feel like I am part of a little online community now.

Oh! I tried edibles this year. That was wild.

I ignored more calls than usual, just because I did not feel like talking sometimes. I laid in the sun a lot and walked more than I usually do. I learned a bit more about myself. I had ups and downs, but more ups than downs. I spoke my mind more and was kind to myself.

2020 was a different year, and it’s okay. I am glad I get to say I was here to see it.

I do not have some great lessons to share. I barely think this blog post is worth posting, but it is worth it, so I am posting it.

Talk to you some more soon. Happy 2020.

Me and teddy 💕

let’s talk

Let’s talk about love

You inspired me to write, you always do

Lately, every word has been about heartbreak

I do not remember us this way, but this is how it feels today

Your smile, it always lifts me, it reminds me of how my father smiles at my mommy

But, my heart, baby, this is nothing my parents thought me

I miss you every day, I wish I could call you to say…

But instead, I will write the words that are dedicated to you

On this day.. ring, ring.. hi baby.. call me.

 

 

Unedited poem (been drinking)

I will be posting more of my longer length poems. It is unedited, raw version of my words. You may see typos, weird phrase combinations, I read it once, fix the format and post. I wanted to share this side of my writing. Thank you for reading me.

Enjoy 🙂

Drunk on nonsense

Hard to drive on the road to salvation

I’m intoxicated with my impatience

The view is blurred by my ego In the mirror, my past is closer than it appears Carpooling with my struggles and my fears…

I had way too much to drink

The smell of vodka and rum makes me sick

Everything I thought I knew slip my mind in a second

I’m standing here trying to make my life a bit less dramatic

Without giving out the specifics I’m without a doubt nostalgic

Haven’t done anything special since my son I’m nothing good, but I’m nothing wrong I just wish my poetry would be in your favourite song

Then I could officially be a writer… a poet…

Something special that hits your hearts with rhymes and lyrics

Until then, let me drown in my nonsense

Refill my glass with regrets and maybe use it all for new material on my next set.

Unedited poem (birthday reminder)

Unedited poem post. If you did not know yet, I will be posting more of my longer length poems. It is unedited, raw version of my words. You may see typos, weird phrase combinations, I read it once, fix the format and post. I wanted to share this side of my writing. Thank you for reading me. Enjoy 🙂

Somethings didn’t sink in until my digits flipped

Can’t be bitter about getting older, it correlates with being wiser

Time-lapse allowing me to see my prayers getting answers

Age defined by more than a few wrinkles

To solely focus on this makes us human and comical

I am closer to who I was born to be

And for that, I am excited, ready and forever grateful

The struggle is hard but man… It’s beautiful

Unedited poem (sleep deprived)

Unedited poem post. If you did not know yet, I will be posting more of my longer length poems. It is unedited, raw version of my words. You may see typos, weird phrase combinations, I read it once, fix the format and post. I wanted to share this side of my writing. Thank you for reading me. Enjoy 🙂

Sleep gets in the way of my dreams, and my dreams deprive me of sleep

I’m tired, but no matter how many sheeps I count I can’t fall out of my reality

There’s a light, I felt it shine on my face

I concluded that God got many more blessing for me in place

I’ve been paid and ordered some patience, but it arrived late

It came to meet me  at the door, but brought a couple of bad experiences with it

My pain was enhanced but blessed me with wisdom

My path was simple, somehow I thought it was a bit complicated

But that was me living in my everyday mistakes

I aimed for peace in my heart and home, and so many doors opened.

Made my desires relevant, and now I’m a representation of my aura.

Calm but energized. Outspoken but quieter than most. Wounded but healed.

I still understand how to feel.

I discarded a few characters of my life story

No enemies were made but some people don’t deserve anything from me

I realized how blind I was from time to time.

But I’m home now. Even with my eyes shut, I made it home just fine.